Monday, June 8, 2009

Dear DC Staffers,

Let’s clear something up: not all interns are stupid. I know there are some, but this is just how the world works, one day you’ll find out that there are bad apples in every crop. And let’s not forget that the staffer crop has its own batch bad apples. I cannot blame you for making a blog to record office place gaffes; I confess I frequent the site myself because many of the posts are quite funny. But staffers, you are being plagued by your own bad apples and their inability to spell and punctuate. You may not have gotten this piece of advice in your fancy private school so let me enlighten you now: you lose the privilege of making fun of others when you're an idiot yourself.
Today, one of the staffers in my office wore a white skirt so short and tight, you could see her leopard thong through it. And she had the audacity to comment that I should wear heels more often.

Age does not equal wisdom

Most cultures acknowledge that age and wisdom correlate. Eastern cultures recognize sages, Christianity discusses the three wise men, Hinduism has gurus...While many times people get smarter as they age, this is not always the case. I'm sure most of you were poli sci majors in college, but many of you have forgotten the basic rules of social science, so let me remind you: correlation is not causation. Just because you're older than me does not mean you are smarter than me. A DC staffer once blogged, "This is DC, everyone smart." Yes, staffers, this includes your interns as well. We worked our asses off getting here, filled out countless applications, wrote numerous essays, participated in multiple rounds of interviews, and beat out hundreds of other applicants. Not only were we competing against fellow students but we also had to compete with laid off DC staffers with years of experience. So remember DC staffers: I too am smart.